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How to Be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship
Download PDF How to Be Loved: A Memoir of Lifesaving Friendship
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Review
An Entertainment Weekly Most Anticipated Book A Rumpus Most Anticipated of 2019 Pick​ “This moving, beautifully written book reveals the lengths we go to put conditions on our love, the ways in which we resist the people who want to come close to us, and the truth that it is in our weakest moments that we are most likely to find the greatest sources of strength.”—Nylon, “50 Best Books to Read in 2019” “A primer on vulnerability, and the power of dropping your shield.” –WBUR “How to be Loved is searing, compassionate, and unexpectedly funny in its exploration of how suffering can beat us down to the point that we are forced to accept grace, whether we like it or not.” –The Rumpus “[A] gentle exploration of love and friendship . . . dazzling.” –Publisher’s Weekly, starred “It is the revelation that love can be unconditional and profound that makes this memoir stand out from many similar ones. Fisher is not just another survivor of a grave illness; she has been transformed by letting another person love her without constraint. A well-written, emotionally uplifting tale of friendships, extreme illnesses, and understanding what love truly means.” —Kirkus Reviews “An inherently engaging, impressively compelling read from beginning to end, How to Be Loved is extraordinarily well written and ultimately inspiring.” ​—The Midwest Book Review "Eva Hagberg Fisher's story is the most beautiful sort of instruction manual. Through each harrowing, awkward, compelling, and heart-aching turn of the author's journey we glimpse the way a transformation is forged. Illness, addiction, and uncertainty are torments, but for some of us, asking for help can be the hardest challenge of all. This memoir is for us. It reminded me that every kind of healing is helped by the brave act of letting ourselves be loved. I would read it every day, if I could." —Melissa Febos, author of Whip Smart & Abandon Me "Eva Hagberg Fisher's captivating HOW TO BE LOVED is more than a coming-of-age memoir that moved me to tears — it's also a fascinating medical mystery wrapped in a love story, but not the kind you're necessarily picturing. Hagberg Fisher shows us that the most deeply felt love isn't always romantic, that our chosen families can love us just as much (if not more) than our biological ones, and that sometimes, the hardest part of loving someone else is allowing them to love us back." —Doree Shafrir, author of Startup “Most of us are taught to keep our innermost thoughts to ourselves, to bide our time with the hope that they may sort themselves into something more conventional, more palatable. Eva Hagberg Fisher’s unforgettable memoir skillfully upends this concept: it shows us the great bravery and priceless value of reckoning openly with the emotions that feel too vulnerable to express, the relationships too happy-making to believe, the friendships too bolstering and vital to endanger with – the horror! – our well-earned gratitude. How to Be Loved is so much more than a stirring travelogue through the world of illness; it is a powerful look at how personal bonds make our lives healthier even when we may be too preoccupied – or too fearful – to appreciate them.” —Rakesh Satyal, author of Blue Boy and No One Can Pronounce My Name "HOW TO BE LOVED bravely illuminates the widely shared experiences of addiction, illness, sex, love and friendship, with a level of depth and intimacy that brought me to the brink of existential fear while making me laugh out loud. . . . I highly recommend this book to anyone who’s ever been reassured that ‘everything will be fine’ when they really want others to honor the terror that maybe it won't; and to anyone who’s ever been brave enough to push through that terror—as a patient, caretaker, friend or lover—to what lies on the other side.” —Adam Nemett, author of We Can Save Us All “Eva Hagberg Fisher is a gift to this world. Her astute understanding of the way we work as humans — and the way she can turn that understanding into compassion, love, and stories — is something to behold. I wish her to be my secret, but I know, as with all gifts, that they are best shared. To not have the world know her way with words, her use of language, and her beautiful and radical empathy would be a travesty. Her writing is necessary and heart-mending.” —Jennifer Pastiloff, author of the forthcoming On Being Human “Fisher recounts the harrowing fallout of the rupture of an undiscovered mass in her brain at age 30, as well as the people — a few friends in particular — who helped bring her back to herself.” – Entertainment Weekly
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About the Author
Eva Hagberg Fisher's writing has appeared in the New York Times, T: The New York Times Style Magazine, Tin House, Wallpaper*, Wired, Guernica, and Dwell, among other places. She lives in California and New York City.
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Product details
Hardcover: 240 pages
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (February 5, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 054499115X
ISBN-13: 978-0544991156
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
29 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#66,237 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
“How to be Loved†arrived and I couldn’t put it down. Wonderfully written, it weaves together life’s so-called ordinary challenges and the extraordinary ones that come with an undiagnosed, life-threatening illness that baffled the doctors and wreaked havoc on all fronts. In telling her story, Eva Hagberg Fisher has a rare knack for bringing out life’s perils and tragedies without ever losing sight of what she learned: we are loved, far more than we usually realize, and the love we share sustains us, surprises us, makes life possible and marvelous despite everything.
This is a story about so many things: life-threatening illness, addiction, complicated relationships, personal growth, family dynamics... These subjects and others are woven together to create a rich yet remarkably succinct memoir that pulls you in from the first sentence and holds your attention as the author describes deeply personal twists and turns, not to mention medical cliffhangers. It's painful, poignant, thought-provoking -- yet it never becomes depressing. You could easily forget this is non-fiction, but you won't want to because its realness is so powerful. I'm debating over whether to lend this book to a friend immediately -- or hang onto it for re-reading soon.
This is a fantastic memoir--but more than a memoir about a series of medical challenges the author faced. It is a deep reflection on change and on what it means to experience and sustain friendship. It's honest and will make you glad to be alive and loved.
This memoir is jewel-like, faceted and angular. It catches light and shows variegation depending on how you look (read) it. The prose is lapidary, precisely wrought, yet comforting and warm; there is the sense that you and the author are lounging together on a couch. It’s a lovely read. I spent a beautiful rainy Sunday with it in bed, in a quiet dim room. If you are at all contemplating your worth in the world, the achievements you expected to have and the life that you actually live, this book will be important to you.
Seriously, you should've bought this yesterday. Or last week. Or pre-ordered it. But you're hearing about it now - so let me tell you that I cannot recommend it enough. Eva...she goes through some stuff. And it's rough. But the nuggets of wisdom and genuine self-reflection in the book are like a breath of fresh air amid the fake happy feelings our always-online world wants us to believe we should be having. Cozy up, dive in, and be ready to reflect. Thank you, Eva, for sharing part of your journey with us.
I went from having never read a memoir to reading two in as many weeks. This is the second one, which was so captivating that I read it straight through. Particularly interesting was the writer's honesty in sharing her life experiences and the many people in her life. I found the book poignant but also hopeful as the story unfolded.
I cannot imagine how hard it was to write this memoir, telling the story of mysterious sickness and love and loss. This book is beautifully written.
This book was a quick and compelling read exploring the vicissitudes of life in easily accessible prose. I especially enjoyed the last section which captured the endless expanse of the Sonoran desert in an anxious climax of the occasionally overwhelming horizons of life's largest choices.
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